- Overextending Yourself
For a while I felt a lot of guilt for my success. I’ve always been in sales and I was able to do well early in my 20s. I felt like I always had to save the day, even when no one was asking. I would go above and beyond for people who wouldn’t necessarily do the same for me. I have since worked through the guilt but I still find myself volunteering to do things for people when it’s not necessary. I honestly love helping people.
But sometimes you need to just take care of you. You need to sit your butt down! Sometimes you need to let other people volunteer. You don’t always have to take the lead. It’s amazing that you want to help and be there for others. However, if you find yourself not feeling appreciated or resenting others, maybe you should stop putting yourself in those situations. The next time something comes up, ask yourself is there anyone else who can help? Is this truly a situation where the person needs help? Do you really want to help or do you just want to look like the hero? Even if the person needs your help, don’t make it a habit of always saving the day. It can weigh on you and make you resent people or situations.
2. Setting Vague Goals
Every year you make the same goals but for some reason you aren’t achieving them. Why do you think that is? It’s because you are saying I want to lose 20 lbs. but not creating a clear plan and milestones to actually lose the weight. I like to use SMART – goals should be Specific Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time bound. A clear plan would look like I want to lose 20 lbs. in 4 months. Each month I will lose 5 lbs. Goals should be tracked (weekly, monthly). You also want to determine what actions will help you achieve your goal. For example, how many days a week will you work out? How many calories will you consume daily? How will you improve your diet? You must create specific goals, an action plan, then commit to the plan to achieve the results you want.
3. Not Living in the Moment
It’s important to have goals and work hard. But it’s much more important to live your life and be present. Sometimes we get so caught in the “I can sleep when I’m dead mentality” and that’s simply not healthy or productive. Yes, you may be getting a lot done in your business or career but what is suffering in the process? Is it your friends, family, your body, your mind? It’s not worth it in the end. Yes, your future is important but the people and the things you have now are more important. I try to find joy in each day. I live life on purpose. That means doing things that make me happy, small and big. It’s important for me to spend time with family and friends. I love to travel and see new places in the world. I intentionally plan to do things for me. Make sure you pause, breathe and smell the roses.
Also read: 5 Things I Would Tell My Younger Self
4. Holding on to What Doesn’t Serve You
It can be really hard to let go of people or things that mean a lot to you. Many times we hold onto things because of time or maybe just codependency. You feel like you need that person in your life when really they more so need you. Or you feel like you can’t make it without that job when really that job can’t make it without you. At the end of the day, you have to look at who is bringing value in your life. Who has your best interest? Who is riding for you even when you don’t feel like riding for yourself. It’s okay to choose you. Don’t worry about what people will say or if they will feel abandoned. Make a decision to no longer enable people and continue with situations that don’t serve you. Make room for better to come in your life.
5. Sleeping on Yourself
Now this is a big one. We get so caught up in other people sleeping on our abilities but really we continuously sleep on ourselves. You can go out there and make anything happen but what do you do? You second guess yourself. You prolong putting out the project or starting the business because you don’t feel you have the credentials. You tell yourself you don’t have the formal education, why would someone want to listen to me? You have to stop making excuses. See yourself doing, having, and achieving more. Put forth the effort, try and believe in yourself. If you don’t believe in yourself who will?
Leteshia says
Love this
parth says
Thank you!!!
Lorraine says
OMG, love this!
taneishia.fields says
Thank you!